Dancing With the Devil by Keri Arthur | Rant Review [Spoilers]

Dancing With the Devil by Keri Arthur

Nikki & Michael

First Published: 2008

Paperback

Adult, Fantasy
Rating:

Re-Readability:

Private Investigator Nikki James grew up on the tough streets of Lyndhurst and believes there's nothing left to surprise her. All that changes the night she follows teenager Monica Trevgard into the shadows-and becomes a pawn caught in a war between two very different men. One fills her mind with his madness, the other pushes his way into her life-and her heart. Nikki knows how dangerous love can be, but if she wants to survive, she must place her trust in a man who could easily destroy her.
Michael Kelly has come to Lyndhurst determined to end the war between himself and another brother of the night. For 300 years he has existed in life's shadows, gradually learning to control the life from death cravings of a vampire. Nikki not only breaches his formidable barriers with her psychic abilities, but makes Michael believe he may finally have found a woman strong enough to walk by his side and ease the loneliness in his heart. But will his love be enough to protect her from a madman hell-bent on revenge? Or will it drive her into his enemy's deadly trap?
Only together can they overcome the evil threatening to destroy them both. But the secrets they keep from each other might prove to be the greatest threat of all.

Good God this book was boring.

Seriously, I did not expect this. The "heroes" kept getting into traps, nearly dying, failing and in pain. Rinse and repeat. It got old real quick. Even scenes one would normally classify as action scenes were dull and dry without an ounce of soul.

And let's just take a second to lament how dumb someone has to be to fall into traps over and over and over again. At a certain point, couldn't you try to put a trap of your own? Or do something, anything, to counter attack?? Seriously, it's been 5 years since I read this book and I am still angry about it...

Now, on top of all this, a lot of parts made absolutely no freaking sense. Michael, who is the male protagonist, literally found the whereabouts of villainous-dude Jasper about half a dozen times throughout the book. But then, those scenes ended in fade-to-blacks paired with some inane notion like "it's time for the hunter to become the hunted"... which never played out. The next time we see our "heroes", nothing has changed and Jasper is still at large. Why is this even in the story?

Then, there was the Case of the Vanishing Injuries. These guys... they get hurt. Often. Like, hit by a car kind of hurt. And then... it's mentioned maybe once, and is forgotten until the next time they get injured. That's not how these things work, book!

But at the end of the day, it was the characters that made this book suck ass. More specifically... it was Nikki. I disliked how scared she was, all the time. It's human to be afraid, but having that be your one single emotion is just frustrating. But I could deal with that. I could even kind-of-maybe-sort-of deal with her utter uselessness, even though it's one of my pet peeves in books, especially when the girl is so heavily gifted. Like, you've got everything working for you to be a key character in the story, and instead, you are just a damsel in distress.

But I only started actually hating her later in the story. On the one hand, she did not want Michael to go and on the other she was so darn annoying, refusing to trust him because of something someone else did, being anti-vampires in general, accusing Michael of dumb things and just looking for something wrong about him. And then, when he does leave, she regrets it. Girl, you deserve to have your ass deserted and left to fend for yourself. Yes, you will die within a minute because you are that useless but at this point, I don't even give a fuck.

Now, clearly, considering the former paragraph... I wasn't a huge fan of the romance. It wasn't very believable, at any case. I have no idea why this two fell for each other. I mean, why would anyone fall for Nikki??? And naturally, the "I love you"s came out of nowhere. Because that's the kind of novel this is...

One of the most disappointing things about this novel was actually the writing. I had been excited to read a Keri Arthur novel when I picked this up. I heard a lot about them, after all. Sadly, I was very underwhelmed by it. There was just nothing about it, and as I said before - boring as hell.

Okay, wait, time for a positive thing about this novel!... It ended and I was able to move on to better reads. LOL. 

Existence by Abbi Glines / The First Book I Ever HATED

Existence by Abbi Glines

Existence #1

First Published: 2004

Kindle

Young Adult, Paranormal Romance
Rating: 

Re-Readability:

What happens when you're stalked by Death? You fall in love with him, of course.
Pagan Moore doesn't cheat Death, but instead, falls in love with him.
Seventeen year old Pagan Moore has seen souls her entire life. Once she realized the strangers she often saw walking through walls were not visible to anyone else, she started ignoring them. If she didn't let them know she could see them, then they left her alone. Until she stepped out of her car the first day of school and saw an incredibly sexy guy lounging on a picnic table, watching her with an amused smirk on his face. Problem is, she knows he's dead.
Not only does he not go away when she ignores him, but he does something none of the others have ever done. He speaks. Pagan is fascinated by the soul. What she doesn't realize is that her appointed time to die is drawing near and the wickedly beautiful soul she is falling in love with is not a soul at all.
He is Death and he's about to break all the rules.

Once upon a time, all the way back in 2012, I heard about Existence by Abbi Glines. Wherever I looked, people loved it. So, naturally I thought I would love it too. Oh boy, how wrong I was. This was the book that introduced me to the concept of hating a book. HATING. I guess we all have that one. This was mine.

The crux of the problem was Pagan, the main character. She is such an awful main character, her ridiculous name the least of her problems.

First of all, she's a user. She is in love with a guy name Dank (no joke), and yet she dates this other guy named Leif (again, I swear to god these are their names). So, in my book, that makes her shady af. But if that's not bad enough, she is also a stinking  c h e a t e r  okay?? She kissed another guy while having a boyfriend.

Second, she has a fierce case of the Bella Syndrome, which is when a girl is sooooo in love with a guy that when he leaves she breaks into tiny little pieces and can't live anymore. That's pathetic. Girls are stronger than that, dammit!

So I was already hating on her when the book decided to declare her "soul" beautiful. Oh, and on top of that, she's brave and strong. Ehhh, hello? Who is this Pagan you're talking about and can we have this book be about her instead? I feel like that'd be a much better read than this pathetic mess!

Now, I'm sure you won't be surprised when I say I hated the romance. I kind of hinted toward that already, but let's go into details. For one thing, it's freaking insta love. Like, couldn't you have at least given me a satisfying relationship to hold on??? There is no why, when or how to it. She sees him and BAM she's in love.

But it wasn't even a healthy love. He became the entire reason for her existence. That's not good, y'all!!

But then, to top that off you have Dank. This guy, okay? It's supposed to be impossible for him to fall in love with a human, because reasons. Ergo, the person that makes him fall in love should be super smart, and good, and all around amazing. Well, Pagan's special alright... (e)special(ly) annoying. I guess some guys find that attractive?

The accumulation of all these annoying things is the showdown. Or whatever the hell that was.

SPOILER So, there is the whole self sacrifice deal so Dank could live. But twist! It doesn't work like that so instead she must be brave and live so that his sacrifice wouldn't be for nothing. Ahhh, but gotcha! Choosing to live without the meaning of your existence is actually the biggest sacrifice of all, and oh, how brave and strong you are Pagan to endure it. Your reward.... huzzah, he's alive! END SPOILER

When do I get to shoot myself?? Seriously, what is this crap and why do people love this?

The single endurable thing about this whole mess is the last line. The last line. It made me consider for a millisecond reading the next book before I caught myself and burst out laughing.

As for the writing... It was okay. Yeah, that's the best I've got. I often felt like Glines dragged things way too long, and occasionally the speech was completely fake and unnatural. So, yeah, I wasn't super impressed ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, I would like to backtrack a little bit. I do think that my disappointment could've been less severe if the summary didn't reveal what Dank was, and instead we had to discover it with Pagan. It could've at least given some mystery to the whole thing.

Christmas From Hell by R.L. Mathewson | Book Review

Christmas From Hell by R.L. Mathewson

Neighbor from Hell #7

First Published: 2015

Kindle

Adult, Contemporary Romance

Rating: 

Re-Readability: 

Duncan Bradford is used to putting other people first even the annoying little jinx that lives next door, but when the unexpected happens and he starts to see her in a whole new light, he decides that it's time that he acts more like a Bradford and takes what he wants.

By the end of The Game Plan, I was actually really interested in Duncan Bradford, the Bradford to drop anything and uproot himself to take care of his injured brother. This was so sweet and unexpected, especially since The Game Plan doesn't feature Duncan all that often, that I was immediately ready for his book.

Luckily, it was out.

Annnnnnnnnnnd... it was utterly forgettable.

I remember... I remember not being impressed. I remember.... I remember not liking Duncan all that much (oh, man! Really?? I was so looking forward to this!). I remember... she was accident prone? And he was mostly over her shit? Oh, and she baked! I remember that! And... Er... Er....

DID I REALLY READ THIS JUST TWO MONTHS AGO?? What is going on? Where did everything go? I just wrote three reviews about the rest of the series, even books I read after this one, and I can't recall almost anything from this one? Jesus. Maybe I just imagined I read this? Goodreads says I did, and so does Kindle, but maybe there're all wrong.

There is no way this book, about a character I was so looking forward, ended up being so mediocre my brain disposed of the information when I closed it. No way.

.... Right?

Technically, this is not really a review, but no one can convince me a book being this forgettable doesn't say a lot about the book in question, and its quality. No one. I honestly debated about the rating for this one a lot because apparently I gave this one four stars initially (or so Goodreads said), but then I looked at it after reading the eighth novel and I was certain I had meant to give it three, and now it feels like even three might be half a star too much. idk.

Heist Society by Ally Carter | Book Review

Heist Society by Ally Carter

Heist Society #1
First Published: 2010
Library Paperback
Young Adult, Contemporary
Rating:

When Katarina Bishop was three, her parents took her on a trip to the Louvre…to case it. For her seventh birthday, Katarina and her Uncle Eddie traveled to Austria…to steal the crown jewels. When Kat turned fifteen, she planned a con of her own—scamming her way into the best boarding school in the country, determined to leave the family business behind. Unfortunately, leaving “the life” for a normal life proves harder than she’d expected.
Soon, Kat's friend and former co-conspirator, Hale, appears out of nowhere to bring Kat back into the world she tried so hard to escape. But he has a good reason: a powerful mobster has been robbed of his priceless art collection and wants to retrieve it. Only a master thief could have pulled this job, and Kat's father isn't just on the suspect list, he is the list. Caught between Interpol and a far more deadly enemy, Kat’s dad needs her help.
For Kat, there is only one solution: track down the paintings and steal them back. So what if it's a spectacularly impossible job? She's got two weeks, a teenage crew, and hopefully just enough talent to pull off the biggest heist in her family's history--and, with any luck, steal her life back along the way.

For a while, I've been meaning to read a Carter book. She just seemed like one of those must-read authors to me, you know? Between her Gallagher Girls series and Heist Society, Heist Society caught my attention. I just liked the idea of a young thief better than a school for spies (too much like Spy Kids, for me). I'm not entirely sure I made the right choice.

Because while I enjoyed the idea of this story, I was far from thrilled with the execution.

Heist Society begins at a prestigious school - and the expulsion of one student. Her name is Katarina Bishop, but everybody besides her great Uncle Eddie call her Kat -- including her best friend (and possibly more) Hale and their crew; the brothers, Simon and Gabrielle.

Throughout the entire read, I kept wondering who the hell are these people? All these characters appear one moment, disappear the second, return the next - but we never learn about them. They are so underdeveloped, we know practically nothing about them or their pasts, why they do what they do, nothing! We very occasionally see unexplained glimpses, little references to things we don't know.

The characters are very flat, in that way, and as I never felt like I knew them - I never invested in them either. All we know about them is what's happening to them right now, making them just two dimensional--if not one dimensional--decorations. 

The trickiest part in regards to this book is the writing. I liked certain aspects of it, and hated others.

I liked: - how Carter went from the present to the past or the future for a second, giving extra information and sometimes even outright telling us what to pay attention to. To me, it was an element that kept me reading and interested.

-How Carter kept dropping bombs out of nowhere, withholding information until a certain point. It kept the read interesting because you knew Kat found something - but you have to read on to find out what.

-How the pov switched between the various characters while in operation, so we could see all the position and roles. It flowed perfectly and made the whole thing a lot more interesting.

I didn't like: - how Carter jumped placed. One moment we're in England, the next Paris, the third New York, and it's all too fast, too abrupt and without explanation. You never once saw the travel, instead you were teleported in space with no concept of time or culture to it. In fact, if Carter hadn't written the location's name each time I would've never known we were someplace else.

- The counting clock, making me feel like I was dropped in the middle of a 24 episode or something.

-How even the action wasn't exciting, to me.

It wasn't the fun read it was supposed to be, you know? 

Tiger's Curse by Colleen Houck | Book Review

Tiger's Curse by Colleen Houck

The Tiger's Saga #1
First Published: 2011
Paperback
Young Adult, Fantasy
Rating:

Passion. Fate. Loyalty.
Would you risk it all to change your destiny?
The last thing Kelsey Hayes thought she'd be doing this summer was trying to break a 300-years-old Indian curse. With a mysterious white tiger named Ren. Halfway around the world.
But that's exactly what happens.

Face-to-face with dark forces, spell-binding magic, and mystical world where nothing is what it seems, Kelsey risks everything to piece together an ancient prophecy that could break the curse forever.

Believe it or not - this is the much shortened version of this review... 

Can you shout MEH loud enough? 

I was immediately snared by Tiger's Curse gorgeous cover. Learning it was about shape-shifting tigers and Indian culture? William Blake's The Tiger as an opening poem??? Sounded like a shoe-in for me. So much so, that I bought all three books in series at once (it was before the final or maybe-not-final one came out).

If there was one thing this book made me feel, and often, is exasperated. Frustrated. Angry. Occasionally, it would also incite a more positive range of emotions, like a bit of tingling here and there, laughter, and nerves, so it really wasn't all bad.

We'll start with the good: Right of the bat, the most fascinating thing about this book is the culture it presents. The book takes a refreshing turn to the tried and well used plot line of "girl finds herself a chosen one in the middle of a magical world and goes on a dangerous adventure with a gorgeous magical boy" by showcasing Indian mythology.

Everything from the description of the clothes, the weapons, the gods and the culture was delightful to read of. Enough so that I googled quite a bit of them, so I could picture them correctly in my head.

It was hands down the best thing about this whole book, though I did later learn that many of the "facts", mythology and culture presented in these books are not quite accurate.

The girl in question is Kelsey, whom I liked enough... at first. There was nothing overly special about her, but I did find her funny, nice and smart. But then she got annoying. Like, over-thinking, pushing the guy away by being obnoxious towards him for no reason annoying. Despite everyone reassuring her about her worries.

To me, Kelsey kind of redeemed herself towards the end. I expected to hate her decision (which I knew in advance because I had myself spoiled by the sequel's synopsis), but found myself feeling like it was handled correctly, because it felt like the right choice for Kelsey in the place where she was at the end of the book.

The guy she's pushing away and being occasionally a jerk towards? His name is Ren. He was pretty swoony, I admit. He's an adorable tiger, and a sweet and gentlemany man. He speaks in an old fashioned way and isn't afraid to say anything. Mostly, he says things no real boys of our times will say--or rather be willing to say.

And I loved how he wasn't afraid to tell Kelsey he loved her.  

Obviously the main romance of the story is between these two characters. I felt like it started really well - it was both sweet and cute, depending on whether they were tiger and "owner" or man and woman. I was pleasantly surprised at how long it took to develop considering the type of book this is (though I would still have liked for more time to pass), and how Houck structured everything to make the illusion more time had passed--and how she made Kelsey admit they were rushing ahead.

However, once Kelsey's worrying and moaning started, I was feeling a little meh about it all. We'll have to see where it develops to. 

Always alongside Kelsey and Ren is Mr. Kadam, who is the older mentor for our main characters. Every bit of information we get in this book comes from this guy. He shares some amazing stories from the Indian culture, which as I said before was my favorite part of the story.

And did I mention that he cooks, reads, knows how to fight, and ages really well? He just may be the perfect man!

The final cast member we're introduced to is Kishan, Ren's estranged brother. He was in the book for a short while, but you could already tell he was very different from his sibling. His attraction towards Kelsey was a bit jarring though, considering they've known each other for a week. I couldn't help but wonder if he was interested just because Ren was, trying to re-create his former "success" against his brother.

And of course, one also has to mention the none-existing villain Lokesh whom we see 3 times during this entire 500 pages long book. None of which are actual appearances, but more like visions and flashbacks. It's hard to be afraid of someone who thought a good curse would be to turn his enemies to tigers--with a grace period, no less. 

I mean, he clearly hasn't read the evil-villain handbook. First lesson on it is kill your enemies if you capture them. But if you're looking for more flair, turning them into deadly animals that can bite your throat off is not a valid option! Turn them into harmless bunnies if you must turn them into anything - that way you could torture them with eternal humiliation and they couldn't really hurt you. 

Can you tell I'm a little touchy about this whole thing?

Another highly disappointing thing was the action. It took a looong time to get to it, and when we did there were a ton of exciting problems - with solutions that didn't deliver. Everything was resolved much too easily, with the first idea always being the correct one (even if it was extremely silly). So either it was too easy, or Kelsey was made much too smart. 

Speaking of this, I have to mention the writing and the editing.

The editing, at the very least in my edition (Hodder), was god-awful. I'm not one to usually notice these type of thing, but Kelsey's thoughts were sometimes said in past-tense, sometimes in present. Words jumped lines in some places, and in other's paragraphs continued for pages without break. And the freakin' fonts. My god, curly handwriting is pretty and all--but some of it was completely unreadable to me! 

Even without the faulty editing, I did not enjoy the writing style of this book. At parts Houck's details helped weave these magical, beautiful pictures that took my breath away, at others I simply drowned in the description, and had to read the same paragraph a couple of times or give up all together. 

I felt like Houck lacked the balance between creating an image in our head and trying to make us see an exact replica of what she saw, down to how the freakin' faucet looks like. I really don't care about that damn faucet. 

And the dialogues were sometimes... odd. It was wooden and unnatural at times (especially Kelsey's), and had the Dora-The-Explorer effect every time someone said a "big word" in another language. People don't do that in real life. Usually, when foreigners move to their native tongue, it's because they can't figure out the counterpart in English. So naturally, they aren't going to translate for the convenient of your readers. Be authentic, or don't do it at all. 

Need by Carrie Jones | Book Review

Need by Carrie Jones

Need #1
First Published: 2008
Paperback
Young Adult, Fantasy
Rating:

Zara collects phobias the way other girls collect Facebook friends. Little wonder, since life's been pretty rough so far. Her father left, her stepfather just died, and her mother's pretty much checked out. Now Zara's living with her grandmother in sleepy, cold Maine so that she stays safe. Zara doesn't think she's in danger; she thinks her mother can't deal. Wrong. Turns out that guy she sees everywhere, the one leaving trails of gold glitter, isn't a figment of her imagination. He's a pixie--and not the cute, lovable kind with wings. He's the kind who has dreadful, uncontrollable needs. And he's trailing Zara. With suspense, romance, and paranormal themes, this exciting breakout novel has readers rapidly turning the pages.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE JUICY RANT (PART TWO)

Need was the first ever "bad" review and rating I posted (originally on Goodreads). It got that questionable honor by being one of the most disappointing books I've read to date, which is a big deal, considering I knew nothing about the book coming into it and therefore had no expectations.

And it still managed to completely crush me - because it started out so good, with the quirky chapter titles, laugh worthy moments and the cool seeming heroine. Unfortunately, it all went downhill fairly quickly. Honestly, if anything, this book makes me feel cheated.

Zara is our main character, and despite what I said above - I didn't really like her. I hated how she behaved towards her mother. I hated how illogical and self centered and downright stupid she was.

Then we have Nick, the resident hot guy love interest and a semi-main character. He had his sweet moments, sure, but they were mostly overshadowed by his major dick ones...

To be honest, the characters I did like were Issie and Devyn, and they were sadly negated to barely-there side characters.

And stillI had two MAJOR problems with the whole lot of them, the first being the sad unfortunate truth that they were all extremity, insanely... stupid. They never ask the right question... or any questions at all, for that matter. They just accept everything at face value and wait for something to happen next. I mean, c'mon!

Don't believe me? Well, what if I told you they find a note that tells the peculiar story of a sacrifice and running away, alongside a small side-note about pixies. Do they ask questions--what's it about, who wrote it, etc? Even just to each other? Err, no. They do not.

The second, which is the superior sin between the two, was the fact I did not find them believable... at all. Their behavior, actions and reactions all rang false and scripted. They never jumped out of the pages, never felt alive.

And yet, for such dead characters, you'd be amazed at how exasperated I got by the romance (or whatever the hell that was). But, well, this is insta love after all. The kind that make you pull your hairs out, because they know absolutely nothing about each other, and yet they reach the kind of relationship where somehow, the other's presence is a magical balm to all ills in the world. Even though, you know, cuddling will probably not stop the crazy creatures after you from stealing your humanity. But, whateves, kissing's way more important.

Then came the ending. I don't think I've ever read of a silliest one, and that's saying something 'cause I read this back in 2012 and it's still accurate. It was just ridiculous. The logistics made no sense, lady luck played much too big a part and the pixies' previously established traits just vanished at the convenience of our heroes.

And let's not forget... how considerate of the bad guys to listen to what the good tell them! Jolly nice of you, mate!

Come back tomorrow for a breakdown of the (many) stupid things in this book - no hold backs, no spoiler tag, no mercy. 

Book Rant: Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick (Part #1: Overview)

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick
Hush, Hush #1
First Published: 2010
Paperback
Young Adult, Fantasy
Rating:

A SACRED OATH
A FALLEN ANGEL
A FORBIDDEN LOVE
Romance was not part of Nora Grey's plan. She's never been particularly attracted to the boys at her school, no matter how hard her best friend, Vee, pushes them at her. Not until Patch comes along. With his easy smile and eyes that seem to see inside her, Patch draws Nora to him against her better judgment.
But after a series of terrifying encounters, Nora's not sure whom to trust. Patch seems to be everywhere she is and seems to know more about her than her closest friends. She can't decide whether she should fall into his arms or run and hide. And when she tries to seek some answers, she finds herself near a truth that is way more unsettling than anything Patch makes her feel.
For she is right in the middle of an ancient battle between the immortal and those that have fallen - and, when it comes to choosing sides, the wrong choice will cost Nora her life.

Anybody who loved Hush, Hush, you better leave this review five part rant right now because...

And you know what? I am done apologizing for hating this book. Done apologizing for thinking that the world is effing crazy for loving this... thing. I respect your opinion, and if you like it -- good for you, but I still can't understand it.

I don't even know where to begin, there is so much wrong here. So many ire inducing parts and moments. It's setting my teeth on edge just thinking of this book. But I guess I'll zero in on the characters and the romance. Or whatever the heck that was.

Only, I'm going to do a quick overview here and then proceed to rant in details over each and every agonizing bit in separate posts, because when I finished writing it all it was four times the length of my normal reviews and I didn't have the heart to subject you to that without at least giving you the option to choose whether you really want more of this rant in your life.

In short (because the long version is super long) - Nora is an idiot, Patch is a class A jerk, Vee is the worst best friend in the history of literature and I wish she'd die, and the romance doesn't make sense at all. Unless you have a thing for stalkers who force you against walls.  

Seriously, there is not one selling point for this whole mess. And if bad af characters and romance aren't bad enough, there was so much inconsistency. It seemed like Fitzpatrick threw in information and people without a thought, reducing or ignoring them when she felt like it.

Like the school assignment that brought Nora and Patch together, and then conveniently disappeared from the plot. Conversations that Nora was supposed to have with her mother, but didn't. Discussions Vee and her should've had, but didn't. Or the tutoring bit.

That's not okay. Don't just put in things if you're not going to go back to them. If you're going to pretend they didn't exist. So much useless information just clogs up an already murky plot, and for nitpickers like me it just serves to drive us crazy, because we effing remember you put it there.

And the ending... just no. And I'm not even going to elaborate on that part because it just pains me to relive this and I would rather scrub it from my mind. But if you want to read what the ending should've been, check out Kat Kennedy's awesome How It Should Have Ended.

So, this is everything in a nutshell. I'll be posting the links here and on the other posts for each and every part of this elaborate rant, so if you are looking for a hefty dose of sarcasm and frustration (albeit funny ones), you can just drop by by the end of the week or simply follow the blog for quick updates every time a post goes live! ;)

Buy Now 

LOL, joke!

Go To:

Part One: Overview | Part Two: Nora | Part Three: Patch | Part Four: Vee | Part Five: Is This Supposed to be Romance?

DNF Review: Keep Me Safe by Maya Banks

Keep Me Safe by Maya Banks

Slow Burn #1

First Published: 2014

Kindle Edition

Adult, Contemporary Fantasy

Rating:

A sizzling story of a woman who risks her life and her heart to find a wealthy man’s missing sister — the first novel in a sexy new romantic suspense series from #1 New York Timesbestselling author Maya Banks
When Caleb Devereaux's younger sister is kidnapped, this scion of a powerful and wealthy family turns to an unlikely source for help: a beautiful and sensitive woman with a gift for finding answers others cannot.
While Ramie can connect to victims and locate them by feeling their pain, her ability comes with a price. Every time she uses it, it costs her a piece of herself. Helping the infuriatingly attractive and impatient Caleb successfully find his sister nearly destroys her. Even though his sexual intensity draws her like a magnet, she needs to get as far away from him as she can.
Deeply remorseful for the pain he’s caused, Caleb is determined to make things right. But just when he thinks Ramie's vanished forever, she reappears. She’s in trouble and she needs his help. Now, Caleb will risk everything to protect her — including his heart....

DNF at 25% 

By this point, I ought to learn my lesson and just stick to Maya Banks's historicals, because whereas her historicals are some of my top favorite, her contemporaries leave a lot to be desired. It's almost like she has a split writer personality disorder. 

I wonder if it's because contemporary romance nowadays seems to be (ridiculously) conditioned toward fast, quick, instantaneous relationships while in historicals it's acceptable to take your time--with the physical and emotional build up--because of the times, when you couldn't just hop into someone's bed without consequences (such as marriage). 

Regardless of the reason, I am just so damned disappointed. 

Keep Me Safe takes it's title quite seriously from what I could gather from the 25% (roughly 81 pages) I forced myself through, as this entire novel seems to center around Caleb keeping Ramie safe from a stalker and from her abilities.

Yes, stalker and abilities. Ramie can psychically link herself to kidnap victims in order to find them, but by doing so she experiences what they are going through (such as rape). But she's so goodhearted that despite this horrific ramifications, she would endure it to save others. Until a psychopath sets his eyes on her, and instead of reporting it she decides to disappear. And then he finds her, and she phones the one man she thinks can help her. Caleb. 

The premise of Keep Me Safe is somewhat unique, albeit uncomfortable, I'll admit. But it's executed very, very poorly.

Firstly, it feels like this novel haven't been edited. At all. Characters contradict themselves constantly - one minute Character A says one thing, then in another scene Character B says the same but Character A argues against it and then says she hasn't thought of it before. Or Character A would repeatedly mention something, then in another scene would "just figure out" exactly what she's been saying all along as if it never occurred to her before. And more weird things like this. 

And then, there's is the repetition. This book could be bearable, maybe even good, if the excessive repetition was taken out of it. Sure, it would be half the length it is now, but filling the pages with the same information hardly counts as plot. It just makes me want to scream WE GET IT. 

But actually, maybe it wouldn't be good even then. It might take more than just technical cleaning to make this something I could enjoy, because the plot was a complete mess as well. 

Because Ramie's abilities were just all over the place. Aside to the whole psychic link, she can sense "the worst" in people. But never any of the good (which we are told over and over and over and over and over and over again). Okay. But then... she feels nothing of Caleb because (even though he entertains violent thoughts), he is essentially good? 

So... you don't sense "the worst in people", as you've said, do you? You sense their inclination. A person who is bad inside can't hide it from you, but an absence of feeling means good, doesn't it? The book basically wants you to believe Ramie can do all that & have never encountered good people before to balance it out.

But okay, I guess I could stomach that improbability and inconsistency? after all, her abilities are really not important in the grand scheme of things. They are just a plot device to get the two together.... as is the rape. Yes, I just said it. The rape in this book feels like something broached for impact and nothing else. A far cry from the tasteful, careful handle of the same subject in Highlander Most Wanted, a book of hers I highly recommend. 

While Keep Me Safe takes it's title seriously, it laughs at the chosen series name as this is the farthest thing away from "slow burn". This is so insta love it hurts. 

P.80
"There's something between us, something beyond a passing acquaintance" 

This gem is told by Caleb to Ramie on their second meeting. The first time they never even properly talked and the second has been focusing on the imminent danger to Ramie. So, insta-love. Or insta something-beyond-a-passing-acquaintance. 

Luckily, I never really got past this ridiculous sentence to actually endure the insta-love. Who knows, maybe it would've surprised me. 

And finally... the writing. Maya Banks is a considerable writer, but you couldn't tell based on her contemporaries, where the writing seems to become more choppy, wooden and scripted with every new one that pops. Seriously what is going on?

P.1
"He and his brothers, Beau and Quinn, had always been extremely overprotective of their baby sister. With good reason. Caleb was the head of a veritable empire. Security was always top priority"

Am I the only one who thinks this barely flows?? 

Buy Now 

N/A as that would be slightly hypocritical lol