Wicked Sexy Liar by Christina Lauren | A Review in Bullet Points

Wicked Sexy Liar by Christina Lauren

Wild Season #4

Kindle Edition

Adult, Contemporary Romance

Rating:

For two people ambivalent about dating and love, they sure get naked around each other an awful lot . . .
London Hughes is very content to surf daily, tend bar, hang out with her group of friends, and slowly orient herself in the years after college. Everything’s going great and according to the non-plan.
But when a wave knocks her for a loop one morning, then Luke Sutter’s flirtatious smile knocks her for another that evening, she veers slightly off course…and into his path. Sure, he’s a total player, but the Why not—it’s only one night is a persistent voice in her ear.
For his part, Luke’s been on hookup autopilot for so long that he rarely ever pauses to consider what he’s doing. But after an amazing time with London, he realizes that he hasn’t been moving on from a devastating heartbreak so much as he’s been drifting to wherever—and whomever—the current takes him. With London he wants more.
Every relationship involves two people…plus their pasts. And as much as she enjoys her fling with Luke, when London learns about his past—more specifically, who’s in it—everything becomes the brand of complicated she strives to avoid. It’s up to Luke then to change some things in order to try and ensure he’s not something she’ll outright avoid as well.

This book slump has been killing me, but Wicked Sexy Liar was just what the doctor ordered! That being said, I am so behind on life that I can't write a proper review, but what I CAN do is utilize my bullet points! Muhahah!

• The title is a lie. This is no "liar" in this novel, but instead, two people who are very honest with themselves and their feelings and IT'S SO REFRESHING. I'm so here for stories like this. 

• I accept the title of "wicked sexy" though *wink wink*

• Luke was the BEST. I mean, he's sweet, he's teasing, he's too sexy for this shirt and he knows it, and when he falls in love--he falls hard and with no reservations. Good for you, my man, good for you!

• Logan--I mean, London--was wonderful as well. I really liked that she was doing what the fuck she wanted to do with her life until she was ready to do otherwise. Mad respect for not caving under pressure! Although I kind of wanted a scene of her slapping her ex. And also, a scene where her mother finds out what a douche he was because for crying out loud I hate mothers choosing the ex's side. It's not right! lol

• The sex is not the main focus of the story, but something that symbolizes and enhances these two's relationship and I LOVED that. It's so often the other way around. Gah. 

• Very sexy, but towards the end, I kind of "tuned it out" in the form of skipping ahead. I mean, it's definitely fun, but I've always been more of a plot gal ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• It's pretty impressive to see Christina Lauren's improvement in the plot department! Their first book, Beautiful Bastard, was pretty much just a glorified porno. By which I mean, it was skimpier than a bikini. Again, fun, and passed the time, but for me it wasn't really a "romance". This one, though? ALL ROMANCE.

• Swoon!

• BANTER! God, how much I love banter.

• #FamilyGoals

• #Squad

I am honestly, no exaggeration, so HAPPY I decided to pick this one. I couldn't have made a better choice!

Buy Now 

Illuminae by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman | Who Needs A Heart, Anyways?

Illuminae by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kaufman

The Illuminae Files #1
Date Read: April 21 to 25, 2018

First Published: 2015

Hardcover, Kindle

Young Adult, Sci-fi

Rating:

Re-Readability:

This morning, Kady thought breaking up with Ezra was the hardest thing she’d have to do. This afternoon, her planet was invaded.
The year is 2575, and two rival megacorporations are at war over a planet that’s little more than an ice-covered speck at the edge of the universe. Too bad nobody thought to warn the people living on it. With enemy fire raining down on them, Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to fight their way onto an evacuating fleet, with an enemy warship in hot pursuit.
But their problems are just getting started. A deadly plague has broken out and is mutating, with terrifying results; the fleet's AI, which should be protecting them, may actually be their enemy; and nobody in charge will say what’s really going on. As Kady hacks into a tangled web of data to find the truth, it's clear only one person can help her bring it all to light: the ex-boyfriend she swore she'd never speak to again.
BRIEFING NOTE: Told through a fascinating dossier of hacked documents—including emails, schematics, military files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more—Illuminae is the first book in a heart-stopping, high-octane trilogy about lives interrupted, the price of truth, and the courage of everyday heroes.

Hey, I actually loved an extremely hyped book! SCORE!

Clearly, I was a tiny bit hesitant to start reading this one. Which is code for EXTREMELY SCARED TO. Like, the hype is daunting af. What if I end up not loving it the same way everyone else does? With this kind of Captial H Hype I tend to go the Schrodinger's cat route. Just don't open the box. With this one, it was so easy to go there because it's also a massive piece of literature. 600 pages are no laughing manner, but my inability to open big books is.

*singing* I'm scared of big books and I cannot lie.

Obviously, I have bested the fear and opened the book. And you know what? THE CAT IS ALIVE!

This book is such a strange amalgamation of formats and styles and voices, and what's even stranger is that it works. And not only does it work, it works gloriously. It might take you a couple of files to get into the rhythm of things like it did me, but once you're in it, you're in it.

I think it's a testament to these two authors' skills that each character managed to shine through and have its own voice, even though very little of it is told through their eyes or in a direct manner. And I'm not talking just about our mains Kady and Ezra, I'm talking about the side characters as well, from friends to co-workers to captains and commanders.

And not only will you get a very firm grasp of the characters, you will also get a heavy case of the Feels. Mostly very painful feels, feels that will make you wonder if you really needed your heart for something because clearly it's gone and hopefully that didn't damage something too vital. FEELS for DAYS.

Okay, wait, let's talk a minute about the details of the story. Because it's one of the most terrifying things I've ever read of. It's a combination of all the things I hate the most because they make me so fucking terrified. But at the same time, I couldn't look away???

Nitzan's "I Hate This!" Checklist:

• The Big Bad is a giant corporation - ✓
  Really, I prefer supervillain stories or even tyrant stories and things of that nature because you can just kill the man and it ends, and because things are usually more out in the open as opposed to secret schemes. But corporations tend to be sticky, sneaky business that always feels so much harder to truly kill. They're kind of like hydras. Blah

• BIOWEAPON - ✓
  Oh, goody. My favorite thing. Not. Gosh, it brought literal chills. Bioweapons are such terrible things no matter their iteration, and this one actually turns people into monsters. Like, NO, please.
  (side note- I do hope they explore this topic more in Gemina though because it was very strange that everyone, on the one hand, reacted "differently" to it and had different psychosis and on the other, they all suffered similar specific symptom like the "don't look at me" part. What is the virus attacking to make them all averse to that?)

• A.I GONE MAD - ✓
  Like, whhhhy? Wasn't it scary enough before the artificial intelligence that controls everything lost his mind and overrode all safety protocols in a crazed attempt to follow his core directive, no matter the consequences? WASN'T IT?!
  (*whispers: I kind of liked AIDAN, though, the psycho*)

ALL THE CHECK MARKS. ALL OF THEM. 

Seriously, this is like someone wrote this book just to scare the bejesus out of me.

And you know who're facing these gigantic mega-sized problems?? TEENAGERS! TWO LOVE-SICK TEENAGERS! I'm going to have a heart attack!!! Oh, this book is EXCELLENT in making you see the other people working around it (i.e the grownups and commanders), but unfortunately, those people are not the main characters so for the most part, their fate is unguaranteed. Or guaranteed to be bad. The ones who are going to sort-of-maybe-in-a-way beat it are the teens. And it... works? It does. Fantastically. Amazing.

Although, let's be honest for a minute. Ezra Mason is kind of a secondary main character. THIS IS KADY GRANT'S STORY. The guy is there, and maybe he'll have a bigger part to play in the future (actually, that's almost guaranteed), but Illuminae is 100% Kady's heroic journey. SHE'S the one who does everything, the one who is focused on, the one we get to see the world through her eyes on occasion. She's the one we watch grow into herself, and more importantly, grow to mean something to other people around her. Heck, the final 20% or so of the novel is pretty much Kady on her own. 

And you know what? I get it. I get people falling in love with this girl. I get her being the main character. She is fierce, she is smart, and she is unyielding. She is strong and loyal and near unbreakable. She is willing to sacrifice for the greater good, but she doesn't do it blindly. In fact, she follows nothing blindly, except maybe her own heart. And she's also a pretty teenager with pink hair so QUIRKY. If this was an anime just the pink hair will be a glowing red arrow proclaiming "this is the protagonist". 

In comparison, Ezra Mason is just a cool guy. He's loyal, charming, a good friend, and is very much in love with his ex even six months later. He's an athlete with good reflexes who is comfortable following orders. A rebel he is not. And that's most of what I feel like I know about this guy. 

Which is where the half star went. The least well-developed part of this giant work of art is Kady and Ezra's relationship. We didn't get to see any part of it, which sucked big time because it's the motivation for this entire book. Like, seriously. We meet these two after the breakup, and what's worse... we barely hear about their shared past as a couple. We don't get to experience anything of what made them fall in love or why. We don't even really get to understand the scope of their emotions to one another.

Don't get me wrong, their banter was a winning point, and I was all here for it, but... I still didn't quite get it. Why they loved each other so much to give up so much. I want to be right there with them. To feel like I would sacrifice myself in their stead as well because of how powerful their love is. Instead, all of that was locked behind things that had already happened but weren't shown to me, so I was kind of left to assume that it was justified.

Final note, in relation to the size fear thing. Illuminae is pretty much a 300 pages of a "traditional" story, told in a graphic manner spanning over 600 pages. It's a visual experience that can be read extremely quickly. some pages are made of one sentence or a word in a stylized manner that gives it more force or meaning. So, even though it's 600 pages, it flies very quickly and doesn't feel the length. 

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller | Mythology is Gay AF, My Friends

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Date Read: April 16 to 19, 2018

First Published: 2011

Kindle

Adult, Mythology

Rating:

Re-Readability:

Greece in the age of Heroes. Patroclus, an awkward young prince, has been exiled to the kingdom of Phthia. Here he is nobody, just another unwanted boy living in the shadow of King Peleus and his golden son, Achilles.
Achilles, ‘best of all the Greeks', is everything Patroclus is not — strong, beautiful, the child of a goddess — and by all rights their paths should never cross. Yet one day, Achilles takes the shamed prince under his wing and soon their tentative companionship gives way to a steadfast friendship. As they grow into young men skilled in the arts of war and medicine, their bond blossoms into something far deeper — despite the displeasure of Achilles's mother Thetis, a cruel and deathly pale sea goddess with a hatred of mortals.
Fate is never far from the heels of Achilles. When word comes that Helen of Sparta has been kidnapped, the men of Greece are called upon to lay siege to Troy in her name. Seduced by the promise of a glorious destiny, Achilles joins their cause, Torn between love and fear for his friend, Patroclus follows Achilles into war, little knowing that the years that follow will test everything they have learned, everything they hold dear. And that, before he is ready, he will be forced to surrender his friend to the hands of Fate.
Profoundly moving and breathtakingly original, this rendering of the epic Trojan War is a dazzling feat of the imagination, a devastating love story, and an almighty battle between gods and kings, peace and glory, immortal fame and the human heart.

So, here is the thing about putting expectations on a book. Sometimes, it works out great. But for the most part, it doesn't. Unfortunately, this case is of the latter. Look, I'm not going to say this is a bad book, because it's not. So no need to fight me to the death on this one.

But be that as it may... I felt disappointed. It simply wasn't the life-altering experience I was let to believe I would have, and in some cases, it wasn't what I wanted it to be at all. I wholeheartedly, unabashedly blame Tumblr. I have seen so many Patroclus and Achilles posts, usually in connection to some of my all-time favorite couples (Pynch, Andriel, and Evak, for example), that I have already decided I am going to fall in love with Patroclus and Achilles and their story before I opened the first page.

And I did... but I didn't. You see, the thing I loved most about those other couples was how long we spent watching the two become what they are. We watched them become friends, we watched them react to each other and with each other, and by the time they were together, we didn't need words or confirmations of love because we knew it in our bones. There was no doubt, no questioning, that they were meant for each other--forever and always. We were shown, not told. That's the kind of storytelling that I love.

In THE SONG OF ACHILLES, things were different. I felt like I was told of everything, instead of being shown and drawing my own conclusion. I was told "after that, they were best friends". I was told that they "talked about this, and this, and this". But I didn't actually get to see these interactions happen. I didn't get to see them as best friends, inseparable companions. I felt like I was robbed of many of their conversations and interactions - scenes that would make me feel their friendship and love and fully believe in it. Instead, I was simply told that they happened and was expected to understand that their strong love grew from these mysterious, shared memories that I wasn't privy to.

Now, it's not that I didn't believe their love, or that I didn't cry there at the end, because I DID. Not gonna lie. It's just that I felt like it could have been told in a better way.

But enough about that. Let's talk about things I loved. For example, the way Achilles was fiercely protective of their relationship and adamant that no one will take it from them. It's 2018 and still, for some incomprehensible reason, gay relationships are not accepted everywhere--and this story takes place in Ancient Greece. Got to love a hero who isn't afraid to love, until death and beyond. And while I'm still a bit skeptical that no one seemed to care about this illicit relationship, I was so there for mutual love and support!

I general, I think the lasting and unshakable relationship between Patroclus and Achilles is the strongest part of this novel. No matter what or who comes in their way, these two will be together. Protecting each other and understanding each other.

That being said, there was a lot of things I wanted to see outside of this relationship. Like Patroclus becoming a valuable part of this war, and perhaps understanding his own worth a bit better. There was precious little of this, and I wanted to see (NOT BE TOLD) of people appreciating his medical abilities and his kind nature. I also wanted to see him interacting with more people in general.

Especially since I knew this story will not get a happy ending. Not with Achilles as one of the main characters. So, at the very least, I wanted my heroes to be happier throughout it. Though I have to admit, some of my trepidation about reading a novel that could only end in tragedy was lessened by the characters aware of their own fate. It would have been so much more difficult to know what is to come while they rushed at it blindly.

And finally, the writing. I have seen people praise it to mars and back, totally enamored with Miller's style and composition. I am, unfortunately, not one of those folks. While I did find Miller's style to be beautiful at times, I mostly felt like it was too damn much. Too flowery or trying too much, to the point that I would literally cringe. I'm kind of sad to be alone in this because it seems like everyone loves it so damned much, but I could not get used to sentences like;

"One by one, Achilles caught the remaining fruits, returned them to the table with a performer’s flourish. Except for the last, which he ate, the dark flesh parting to pink seeds under his teeth. The fruit was perfectly ripe, the juice brimming. Without thinking, I brought the one he had thrown me to my lips. Its burst of grainy sweetness filled my mouth; the skin was downy on my tongue."

Or

I kissed his neck, the span of his chest, and tasted the salt. He seemed to swell beneath my touch, to ripen. He smelled like almonds and earth. He pressed against me, crushing my lips to wine.

Like... why? Why take such a long time describing figs in such a cringe-worthy way? And I didn't need to know Achilles "ripened", thank you very much. I'm okay with the good ol' "hardened". This writing literally made the coming together of two characters I loved feel awkward, overly done and weird. And can someone please explain to me what some of this even means? "Crushing my lips to wine"???

I can't even.

The Failing Hours by Sara Ney | I'm... Kind of So-So About It?

The Failing Hours by Sara Ney

How To Date A Douchebag #2
Date Read: Feb 11 to 12, 2018

First Published: 2017

Kindle

New Adult, Romance

Rating:

Re-Readability:

Zeke Daniels isn't just a douchebag; he's an a**hole.

A total and complete jerk, Zeke keeps people at a distance. He has no interest in relationships—most a**holes don’t.

Dating?
Being part of a couple? Nope. Not for him.
He's never given any thought to what he wants in a girlfriend, because he's never had any intention of having one. Shit, he barely has a relationship with his family, and they're related; his own friends don’t even like him.

So why does he keep thinking about Violet DeLuca?
Sweet, quiet Violet—his opposite in every sense of the word.
The light to his dark, even her damn name sounds like rays of sunshine and happiness and shit.
And that pisses him off, too.

So, I'm kind of torn when it comes to this book.

On the one hand; I really did like Zeke and Violet's relationship. I like Zeke's character development and the way he goes from someone who won't let other people like him to someone who people can love and appreciate. I liked how Violet demanded his respect and overcome her fears throughout the novel.

These two were a fun couple to follow, as I truly felt like they made each other better, different as they may be.

That being said. THAT BEING SAID. There were a lot of things I was iffy about.

First of all, I found myself wanting Ney to explore more of the things she set up in this book, same as I did in the first one.

Like the kids. The kids are such a great addition to the story, yet Ney barely uses them at all. They are something clearly added just to allow Violet and Zeke to interact more, and that sucked. Where are the adorable bonding scenes? Where are the small things that make Zeke love his little guy, and the little guy return in kind? They were so few and far between that I barely felt them, and so when the book told me at the end about Kyle and Zeke's relationship, I mostly scratched my head wondering why, again, all those great things apparently happened off page.

Then, I wanted Zeke's "friends" to recognize what is hidden under the surface the way James, an outsider, was able to perceive. I wanted them to realize their mistake about him, and to stop acting like the dude had no soul.

I wanted to hear more of Zeke's and Violet's backgrounds since that was another interesting topic that was barely touched upon, outside of the generic "that's why he/she has issues" bits.

And I wanted to see the outcomes of Zeke's various good deeds, especially Brandon's case.

As you can tell, there is a lot of "want" attached to this book.

An even bigger issue I had is of Ney's definition of friendship because holly hell I feel like Zeke's friends suck. Which is a shame because the biggest sucky of them all is Oz, and I really liked him in book one. Anyways, they pissed me so bad with their bad friendship and the way they somehow shifted the blame solely on Zeke for all of it.

*Mark the spoilers with the mouse to see them!*
**Profane language included because I feel really, really strongly about this rant**

SPOILER

Like, I literally wanted to choke Oz there at the end. There he is, pressing all of Zeke's buttons. Nettling him and doing it in front of someone Zeke doesn't trust. When he KNOWS Zeke. He knows that his defense mechanism is to become all dismissive and callous since we have seen that happen multiple times throughout the book.

And yet. AND YET. Oz does so anyway, and then Zeke does what Zeke always does and Oz has the gall to act surprised? To reprimand Zeke for it and pretend as if he had absolutely nothing to do with the situation? When he has absolutely no right to act disgusted?

All Oz had to do is fucking leave well enough alone. That's it. Those two would have not only started dating for realzies, but they would have reached the L word all on their own in no time, seeing how close Zeke already was to voice that thought.

Like, seriously, give me a break, motherfucker. Learn to treat yo friends better; real friends help each other succeed, not tear each other down and make them fail!

How is this book praising and hailing Oz as this great friend?? His actions are those of a frienemy at best. It's either that, or he doesn't get Zeke at all, in which case start making a real effort you fucker or take your toxic attitude someplace else.

My god!

END SPOILER

Oh, and can I also take a moment to rant about that Coach? Like, why is this person represented as the good role model for these kids? All he says to Zeke is filled with this undercurrent of resenting Zeke's wealth. Well, screw that! The fact someone has money doesn't mean he hasn't experienced hardships, only that his hardships may not have been the same as yours. And Coach knows of Zeke's issues. Knows of them and still acts like that towards him.

His actions themselves are good, as they are forcing Zeke out of his own head, forcing him to help others, and that in turn helps him slowly let go of some of his issues. But the dialogue. MY GOD, THE DIALOGUE. It had my blood boiling in rage and my hands itching to slap him, long before I even gave a damn about Zeke.

Again, it's the whole concept of someone being mean and egging Zeke instead of showing him that he has someone in his corner who cares, and who won't just give up on him.

Am I the only one who felt this way about these things? Did I imagine it? Am I crazy???

I don't really know, and I don't really care. Everyone in this kind of pissed me off is the moral of this segment. 

The King's Men by Nora Sakavic | I Don't Want to Say Goodbye!

The King's Men by Nora Sakavic

All for the Game #3

First Published: 2014

Kindle

New Adult, Contemporary

Rating:

Re-Readability:

Neil Josten is out of time. He knew when he came to PSU he wouldn't survive the year, but with his death right around the corner he's got more reasons than ever to live.

Befriending the Foxes was inadvisable. Kissing one is unthinkable. Neil should know better than to get involved with anyone this close to the end, but Andrew's never been the easiest person to walk away from. If they both say it doesn't mean anything, maybe Neil won't regret losing it, but the one person Neil can't lie to is himself.

He's got promises to keep and a team to get to championships if he can just outrun Riko a little longer, but Riko's not the only monster in Neil's life. The truth might get them all killed—or be Neil's one shot at getting out of this alive.

What? It's... it's over? It can't be over! What am I supposed to do with my life now?? How am I supposed to continue living, and pushing air into my lungs, and just generally existing now that this series is over???

The struggle is a bit too real for comfort, tbh.

There's no room for doubt, no room for second guesses, no room for error. This is your night. This is your game. This is your moment. Seize it with everything you've got. Pull out all the stops and lay it all on the line. Fight because you don't know how to die quietly. Win because you don't know how to lose. This king's ruled long enough—it's time to tear his castle down.

So... before I get into this--and I WILL get into this--there are spoilers for SHIPS and END GAMES in this review. Pfff. By this time you know I ain't gonna be able to properly review this anyways. But... yeah, spoilers. I low key don't even want you to read my review before you read the book because I'm gonna talk freely and I kind of want you to experience everything for yourself.

BECAUSE IT IS GLORIOUS.

Neil had been doing one stupid thing after another all year long and this had turned into the best year of his life.

Like, The King's Men doesn't lack for brutality. But unlike the second book where the darkness gets all-consuming, this time there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are people to lean on and trust, there are characters growing and evolving. There is strength and love to carry everything on. Overwhelming love. Most of it familial and friendly, but some of it... some of it entirely romantic. And that final one, especially, makes everything so fucking worth it.

This is literally an otp to top all otps. This otp is standing right now at the top of my otp list. It will probably stay there for a very, very long time. It's not perfect. It's not always healthy. It's a little bit violent and somewhat unexpected, and it swallows you whole with how right it is. With how it makes two broken people... a little less broken. A lot happier. How the simple understanding between them makes everything better; all the pain and the suffering and the hurt.

The first time I read the All for the Game series I started suspecting where this may be going on book two. I held my breath, and let a small "it can't be" because as much as it suddenly hit me that I needed that development to happen, I wasn't sure it would go there. I wanted these two people to find each other. I wanted it with a ferocity that rocked me to my core. And it would have been too heartbreaking if it didn't happen.

He withdrew completely, leaving just the memory of his heartbeat against Neil's mouth, and spun away.

Neil didn't show much interest up to that point, too busy surviving and compartmentalizing. Almost nothing before it suggested it might be possible. That's what I thought, at least, too absorbed by the first reading to see all the signs. By my second read of the series, I realized how inevitable it has always been, from the very very first book, how right, with such sentences as this;

He touched Neil's back on his way by, fingers light enough to give Neil goose bumps

 Cue the incessant squealing and delight.

Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten are absolutely perfect together. They are entirely broken individuals who are fractured beyond repair, but their unique damages somehow make each other's pain more bearable. Their "I love you"s are replaced by "I hate you"s, and for them... it works. They don't talk feelings or emotions because they don't need to. Their actions and looks do all the necessary talking. They aren't gentle, and for the most part, they aren't sweet--although, fuck me, but I think some of their scenes are still some of the sweetest scenes I've ever read. Like, the shower scene?? and the hotel scene?? And the protein bar scene?? And the two of them just talking and existing together, finding solace in each other's presence????

"Can you read lips?" Andrew pointed at his mouth as he spoke. "The next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. Do you understand?"
"If it means losing you, then no," Neil said.

It's so much harder to convince a reader of a couple's love without using specific words, but the best relationships depicted in books are often like this, because there is no easy out, no easy phrase to fall back on and shortcut your reader to that point (it's why a lot of romance novels don't quite work for me - they favour the words over the emotions), but Sakavic doesn't go there. Instead, she silently builds Neil and Andrew's relationship BRILLIANTLY.

People, I WILL FIGHT YOU for this couple.

Their relationship is never going to be classified as "normal", same as neither one would ever be. But... they don't need normal. Both are far too scarred and far too ruined for that. They create their own normal. A normal just between the two of them. A normal that holds and protects and opens up. Just between them, just in the small moments. And it's enough. It's more than enough.

Andrew's disinterest in his psychological well-being was what had drawn Neil to him in the first place: the realization that Andrew would never flinch away from whatever poison was eating Neil alive.

Also, I was so happy there was no real "you're gay" / "I'm gay" conversation. There is no need to come out or even discuss the situation. There is no fear in Neil when he tries this thing with Andrew; no second-guessing or questioning, aside from the question of whether he's allowed such luxuries when he's going to die soon. There is no judgment and no fanfare. It's nothing worth talking about, anyway. The most we get is this;

"I've said all year I don't swing and I meant it. Kissing you doesn't make me look at any of them differently. The only one I'm interested in is you."
"Don't say stupid things."
"Stop me," Neil returned. He buried his hands in Andrew's hair and tugged him in for a kiss.

I SAID IT WAS GLORIOUS, DIDN'T I???

Also also they are hot together. I've got to admit, I wasn't expecting that, but I sure as hell am not complaining.

The whole thing was ENTIRELY BEAUTIFUL and it HURT SO GOOD.

"I hate you."
"Nine percent of the time you don't."
"Nine percent of the time I don't want to kill you. I always hate you."
"Every time you say that I believe you a little less."

It's not the only thing that happens - there is more physical pain in store for our foxes. There are dire discoveries and facing old ghosts. There is broken ground and broken bones. There is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT in abundance. Andrew and Neil's for obvious reasons, but Kevin is a shining star in this one as well. And Allison. I really really really like what has become of Allison in these three books.

But I like all my foxes. Not equally, because I think I made it very clear Neil and Andrew are my problematic faves and I would die for them, but I never said I was fair.

"This," Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, "isn't worthless."
"There is no 'this'. This is nothing."
"And I am nothing," Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, "And as you've always said, you want nothing."

The King's Men was an amazing finale to this beautiful series; it didn't solve all their problems, but then it never could. No one is fine by the end of it, but all of them are better. Their love for the game, and their love for each other--all of them--shines in a way to colors everything.

And I'm not gonna lie; I WILL BE READING THIS ONE AGAIN SOON! Life's too short to deny yourself the small things that first completely break you but then make you happy.

((I have so many delicious quotes of these two highlighted. I did warn that I was obsessed. OBSESSED.)) 

The Raven King by Nora Sakavic | Well, That Was Soul Crushing

The Raven King by Nora Sakavic

All for the Game #2

First Published: 2013

Kindle

New Adult, Contemporary

Rating:

Re-Readability:

The Foxes are a fractured mess, but their latest disaster might be the miracle they've always needed to come together as a team. The one person standing in their way is Andrew, and the only one who can break through his personal barriers is Neil.
Except Andrew doesn't give up anything for free and Neil is terrible at trusting anyone but himself. The two don't have much time to come to terms with their situation before outside forces start tearing them apart. Riko is intent on destroying Neil's fragile new life, and the Foxes have just become collateral damage.
Neil's days are numbered, but he's learning the hard way to go down fighting for what he believes in, and Neil believes in Andrew even if Andrew won't believe in himself.

Do you guys hear that? what IS that sound? Oh, it's just my heart breaking into a million pieces and my soul disintegrating? nvm then.

Seriously, this book... THIS BOOK. Like, book one wasn't sunshine and rainbows. But it looks so bright and cheerful compared to this one??? This one is not just stepping up the ante and bringing the series to a new level, it shoots it out of the atmosphere.

Sakavic is done being cuddly sweet with us. Now the real thing begins, and it is fucking brutal.

"Look. Shit happened. Shit's going to keep happening. You don't need me to tell you life isn't fair. You're here because you know it isn't. Life doesn't care what we want out of it; it's up to us to fight for what we want with everything we've got.

Like, I knew the series will get there. I just didn't know how fast it will and how truly awful it would be. And on the one hand, ouch. And on the other... it hurts so good??? idk man, this book ruined me, it really really did. But I subjected myself to it twice. In three days. So... I guess... I'm a masochist?

You learn something new about yourself every day.

So, yeah. This book is all-caps PAIN. Lots and lots of PAIN. PAIN when you least expect it and PAIN when you definitely do. Sing it with me; PAIN PAIN PAIN. Like... what? WHaT? How is any of this okay?? How is this---just no. No no no. STOP HURTING MY BABIES, YOU MONSTERS!

Like, no joke, this book is VICIOUS. But also perfect. BUT ALSO VICIOUS.

Like, plot-wise, these things need to happen and holy hell the BEAUTIFUL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WE'RE SEEING HERE IS GLORIOUS. But from the unhealthy attached Nitzan point of view, these things should not be happening and FUCKING STOP IT BEFORE I HURT YOU.

I am a GODDAMN MESS. I am using way too much all caps and way too much "like"s for this to be considered any form of coherent thinking/writing. I probably need to chill. No, I most definitely do. BUT I CAN'T AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU JUDGE ME.

Like (again with that word...), I loved Neil in book one. You will too (the "or else" is implied). But Neil in book two? Neil in book two is an entirely new beast. AND I AM LIVING FOR IT. We saw glimpses of it in the first book; of who Neil could be if he let himself care, if he let himself set roots, if he chose to fight instead of flight. And Neil is getting there. He is getting bolder, and stronger. He is learning to lean, and he's starting to want to be leaned on. On court and off court. Out of the nothing, starts to emerge something.

AND IT IS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING.

As he listened to them, Neil realized he was happy. It was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute.

As for Andrew, in book one I thought I was a bit cray cray for liking the short psychopath. In book two I'm judging everyone who doesn't like him. Seriously, the guy is so messed up in the head and I love it?? Especially because he is so unflinching and reliable and yeah way too violent and unstable but also absolutely honest and straightforward and loyal in his own messed up way??

And we're getting to see the Neil we deserve because of him???

And of course, there's the big THING there at the climax. If you still hate Andrew after that or whatever I request you swiftly and quietly leave this review. Someone is going to get hurt. And since I've never fought anyone before, it's bound to be me.

"We've all got different experiences, but we're used to needing help. We're just not used to getting it. But you've got us now."

Neil and Andrew are not the only ones growing. Kevin is, too, veeeeery slowly.

And my foxes. MY PRECIOUS FOXES. Their friendship is as heartwarming as it is dysfunctional, especially because it doesn't go without saying. Most of these people had lived rough lives. They are not strangers to the world being a fucked up place. They have not been raised to trust, or believe in, or support. If anything, they have been taught to be cold, and ugly, and solitary. And more often than not, not to believe in family.

And also, some of them have been taught to be absolute bastards, and not everyone can or would care for such assholes (I'm looking at you, twins).

AND YET HERE THEY ARE, CARVING THEIR OWN LITTLE MESSED UP, MISMATCHED FAMILY. They raly and protect each other, even when the other person is being a total dick to them. They respect each other's boundaries and limits, even as they try to find ways to reach them. Even if they don't quite like them. Because family is not really about liking someone or not. When you're family, you just are.

He was their family. They were his. They were worth every cut and bruise and scream.

NO, I'M NOT MAKING MYSELF CRY AT MY PRECIOUS REJECTS. STFU. 

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic | I Can't Get Enough of This Series!

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic

All for the Game #1

First Published: 2013

Kindle

New Adult, Contemporary

Rating:

Re-Readability:

Neil Josten is the newest addition to the Palmetto State University Exy team. He's short, he's fast, he's got a ton of potential—and he's the runaway son of the murderous crime lord known as The Butcher.
Signing a contract with the PSU Foxes is the last thing a guy like Neil should do. The team is high profile and he doesn't need sports crews broadcasting pictures of his face around the nation. His lies will hold up only so long under this kind of scrutiny and the truth will get him killed.
But Neil's not the only one with secrets on the team. One of Neil's new teammates is a friend from his old life, and Neil can't walk away from him a second time. Neil has survived the last eight years by running. Maybe he's finally found someone and something worth fighting for.

Look, I had no idea what I was getting into when I started reading THE FOXHOLE COURT. I didn't know it will take over my life with alarming swiftness. I didn't know it will become one of my favorite series ever. I certainly didn't know it will become my next obsession.

Heck, I bought the books on a whim after seeing Cait's excitement on Instagram (I probably would have never looked at that ugly cover twice otherwise), and started reading immediately on impulse.

Best. Impulse. Ever.

If he inhaled slowly enough, he could almost taste the ghost of gasoline and fire.

I don't think I ever had an experience with a book like I did with this series. It's not as much this specific one as the series as a whole, but we're talking about the first book now so I'll leave that for the final review.

So, here's what happened: I read this book in a day. Then I read books two and three the following day. And then... Then I opened book one again the day after and started reading from the very beginning and moved on to books two and three without pausing for a breath. I read the entirety of the All for the Game trilogy twice in six days. That never happens. 

I'm no stranger to re-reads. I do them often, as I find them comforting. But I have never, ever, done so immediately after the first read. That never happens. Except it did, with this series. And you know what? I am so, so, tempted to give them another re-read right now, as I am typing this.

It's safe to say THE FOXHOLE COURT is a one of a kind experience. I'm honestly not entirely sure that it's a healthy one, due to my level of fixation, but I am not complaining.

It sounded like a dream; it tasted like damnation.

It's one of the most addictive books I have ever read. If you told me to point a finger at what, specifically, makes it so unbelievably un-put-down-able, I would fumble with the answer. I would try to put into words the feelings that this book invoked, and I would fail.

It's so incredibly difficult to explain the magic of this book because, on the surface, there shouldn't be any. It's a sports book, and I'm no big fan of sports. It's a little on the far-fetched end of things because it requires you to believe in a few things that feel a little impossible.

Not the biggest of which the fact a team like the Foxes actually exists. In real life, wouldn't a coach that fails to deliver results for five years be fired instead of continually trusted and listened to? Wouldn't the University cut their losses early and reject our band of rejects in favor of good, stable athletes after they see their games? Talent shouldn't be enough.

"God damn it, Minyard. This is why we can't have nice things."
"Oh, Coach," someone said over Neil's head. "If he was nice, he wouldn't be any use to us, would he?"

Normally, that would turn me off, or at least make me skeptic. That's why when I see reviewers who do feel that way, I understand. But... on a personal level, it didn't matter to me. It simply became fact that our Foxes do exist in this world and that I much the better for it.

I am much the better for meeting Neil Josten. Neil is a living lie, a person who doesn't really exist. He can't. Not if he wants to stay alive. Nothing about the boy is real; from his age to his name to his background. Nothing save for his undying love and passion for the sport called Exy, and everything we learn about him throughout the book through his actions and interactions; Brave, broken, beaten Neil. Awkward Neil. Confused Neil. The Neil who doesn't understand friendships and doesn't believe in family because he never truly had either.

Leaving meant living, but Neil's way of living was survival, nothing more.

Neil is one of those characters that will make you want to read on and on. You will want to soothe his pain and panic and wipe his fears away. You will want to cheer and clap when he shows his bravery and hot-headedness instead of hiding them beneath a facade. You will want to scream of excitement every time he chooses to stay. To stay and fight.

Keys meant Neil had explicit permission to be here and do what he liked. They meant he belonged.

Despite all of his deceptions, Neil is extremely honest. He voices his opinions without being afraid. He watches carefully and he notices things about those around him. And for the most part, he is extremely free of judgment. He would not begrudge you your vices, or your background, or your sexual orientation, or anything. For one, he has seen a lot in his short eighteen years. For another, it's none of his business. And it doesn't really matter.

Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.

The mess that is the foxes serve to highlight all of who Neil is without telling us. The weird, dysfunctional balance between them all comes crashing down more than once and yet somehow always manages to be shakingly restored.

People want to pretend people like us don't exist, you know? Everyone hopes we're someone else's problem to solve." He reached out and fingered the material. "They don't understand, so they don't know where to start. They feel overwhelmed and give up before they've taken the first step."

On the flip side, Neil served to highlight their traits, especially Kevin and Andrew. Andrew is kind of my favorite, being a total messed up psycho half the time who needs to chill out asap, as Cait put it in one of her reviews. But there is something so compelling about him. There is a reason everyone puts up with him; a reason Kevin trusts him to protect him; a reason his group listens to what he says. Part of it is fear, and part of it is that something about him underneath it all.

"I'm not a math problem."
"But I'll still solve you."

But even though Andrew is my favorite, I love all my foxes. I love Dan and Matt and their relationship (#relationshipgoals anyone??). I loved Nicky, the big flirt. I loved the way Aaron serves to show us more of Andrew, even if Aaron himself is a little meh. I loved Renee's weird serenity, and Seth's asshole ways, and Allison's Queen Bitch and Queen of the World attitude. I fiercely loved Coach, who would give these kids as many chances as they needed, and Abby, the only one among them that is allowed to worry about their physical well being as their nurse.

No one in this book is perfect. They are all messed up, and they will never really be fine, even if they might get better. They don't always make the right choice, and they definitely don't always make the good choice. Reading of all these people was like some kind of drug. Reading of Neil's love of the sport was addictive. Reading some of the horrifying realities these characters endured was fascinating and revolting.

"It's not the world that's cruel," Neil said. "It's the people in it."

If you had asked me a week before if I thought I could love such an impossibly messed up group of people, I might have said no. I would have been a major, giant idiot.

Moral of the story; don't be an idiot like I might have been. Read this book. It's FREE. 

A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro | Such a FUN Book!

A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro

Charlotte Holmes #1
Date Read: Jan 22 to 23, 2018
First Published: 2016
Kindle & Hardcover
Young Adult, Alternate History
Rating:
Re-Readability:

The last thing Jamie Watson wants is a rugby scholarship to Sherringford, a Connecticut prep school just an hour away from his estranged father. But that’s not the only complication: Sherringford is also home to Charlotte Holmes, the famous detective’s great-great-great-granddaughter, who has inherited not only Sherlock’s genius but also his volatile temperament. From everything Jamie has heard about Charlotte, it seems safer to admire her from afar.
From the moment they meet, there’s a tense energy between them, and they seem more destined to be rivals than anything else. But when a Sherringford student dies under suspicious circumstances, ripped straight from the most terrifying of the Sherlock Holmes stories, Jamie can no longer afford to keep his distance. Jamie and Charlotte are being framed for murder, and only Charlotte can clear their names. But danger is mounting and nowhere is safe—and the only people they can trust are each other.

Some books are just god damn, capital letters, FUN.

Of course, A STUDY IN CHARLOTTE is a lot of other things, too, but boy did I enjoy reading this one! I knew roughly around the halfway mark that I wanted to own physical copies of this series. That's a really big deal, for me, because I don't often purchase a book I have on kindle unless the book is both gorgeous and great... which, this one sure is (by the way, we're getting a 4th book *does a happy dance*).

Now, before I really begin and for transparency's sake, I love Sherlock and Watson. Not as much the original books themselves, but their various interpretations and reimagining in the media. I have watched the movies, the BBC series, Elementary, etc. The only shows I ever watch consistently are crime dramas with detectives and the likes. Those are my jam, and so are Sherlock and Watson.

So I didn't really need to know much about this book before picking it up. Which is lucky, because looking at the GR page for it just now I realized almost all my friends gave it lukewarm reviews at best. This means I could have totally missed a book I ended up loving.

Because, yes, as I've mentioned before, I loved this one.

A STUDY IN CHARLOTTE is set in a world where Sherlock and Watson weren't characters in a novel, but real life people. Real life people who had kids, and those kids had kids and those kids had kids and... you get the picture. Now, two of those direct descendants meet in a boarding school. And then someone gets murdered, and they're the prime suspects. So... they do what Holmes and Watsons do best. They team up. They investigate. They form a relationship that is as balanced as it is unlikely.

Have I sold you on this yet? Need more? Okay then.

So, our precious mains. First, we've got James (not to be called Jamie!). As appropriate of a Watson, he tells the story. And he's adorable. There, I said it. He wants to be a writer (#relatable, am I right??), he feels like a complete outsider, he's smart--but not obscenely smart and logic-oriented as Holmes. Which makes him the heart of the partnership.

Then we have the titular Charlotte. As the brains. She's cold, rational, and messed up. Jaded and untrusting, but still with a glimmer of hope. Thinks herself the smartest person in the room... mostly because she is. Tries to pretend she doesn't care, when she does. Manipulative, kind of vengeful, but with a working sense of right and wrong that doesn't always scream at her loudly enough to notice. Again; messed up.

These two are far from perfect, but that's what makes it so fun to watch their relationship evolves into friendship (and... maybe more. In fact, hopefully, more, because I ship it like FedEx). I loved how beautifully Cavallaro captured the role Watsons have in the lives of Holmes. They humanize them, become what they measure right and wrong, good and bad against. I'm curious, in this world, what a Holmes with a bad Watson would look like.

Which is why, ultimately, they may make such a great couple. I've seen people put out by this fact; claiming it ruins the original dynamics. But firstly, this is not Sherlock and John. And secondly... I wholeheartedly disagree, for everything I said above and more.

I feel like this interpretation maintains the original power balance (the banter, the quips, the roles each have in the other's life) but adds another layer to it. There is a reason Watson and Sherlock are one of the most shipped pairings in the world, and that reason manifests itself here in all its glory but also becomes 80% most likely to come to fruition.

Like, even though I am not an aggressive shipper, I've always shipped Johnlock in the way I ship Dan & Phil; they're my ultimate brotp, but if they decided to make fangirls' dreams all over the world come true and announce they're together, I wouldn't mind. In fact, I may even squee a little. Perhaps I will tweet about how beautiful life is. Post photos and gifs of them from the years on Tumblr with the hashtags #relationshipgoals and #dreamcometrue.

Hey, I'm just being honest.

Moving on... Aside for the two mains, I loved the contemporary boarding school settings, the character development and the general vibe of the whole book. There is no other character I can describe as "stand out", but it's mostly because these two are scene stealers. They always have been, in any interpretation.

The only part I am lukewarm on is the actual mystery, and I wasn't at first. I actually really liked it when I finished the book, especially since I couldn't figure it out until the very end (although, I did suspect ALL the guilty parties so boo ya!).

BUT the further away I am from it the more I became kind of bummed that this was the first mystery. Like, I feel like we may have needed the first mystery to be... less personal. It had to be because of the setting, but this was too personal. Which made it feel more appropriate for a second book, or even the third one. I'll have to go back to this point after reading the second book; we'll see how the mystery there will fare in comparison.

Being Jamie Baker by Kelly Oram | An Old Favorite

Being Jamie Baker by Kelly Oram

Jamie Baker #1

First Published: 2010

Kindle / Paperback

Young Adult, Fantasy
Rating:

Re-Readability:

An accident that should end in tragedy instead gives seventeen-year-old Jamie Baker a slew of uncontrollable superhuman abilities. To keep her secret safe Jamie socially exiles herself, earning the title of Rocklin High's resident ice queen. But during a supercharged encounter with star quarterback Ryan Miller she literally kisses anonymity goodbye. Now the annoyingly irresistible Ryan will stop at nothing to melt the heart of the ice queen and find out what makes her so special. Unfortunately, Ryan is not the only person on to her secret. Will Jamie learn to contain her unstable powers before being discovered by the media or turned into a government lab rat? More importantly, can she throw Ryan Miller off her trail before falling in love with him?

You're having a rough week. Life is taking its toll on you. All you want to do is sit and relax, laugh a little, feel warm inside again. Maybe immerse yourself in someone else's life for a short while. Someone else's relationship. God knows you need a good ship to board on this empty pier.

You pick up Being Jamie Baker. And it's everything you've wanted it to be.

I've read this YA fantasy romance three times so far, each time in one sitting. I have forced my cousins to read it and fall in love with it as well. I have recommended it to anyone and everyone who would listen, and some who won't. Because I seriously adore this book. I dare you to read it and tell me you weren't grinning so widely your jaw hurt throughout it. DARE YOU.

So, spoiler alert - you need to get this book. NOW. I'm saying this for your own good.

The best thing about this book is that it makes you desperately wish these characters were real people that you could meet in real life and have real conversations with. And really, isn't that one of the best things a book can do to you?

First, you've got the titular Jamie. Her snark and sarcasm are her main choice of weapon... if you don't consider all the superpowers. Oh, this girl. I love how human she felt to me. I loved how she made me laugh and smile. I loved how she sometimes made the wrong choices or did things I strongly disagreed with. I love how she grew throughout the book. I love HER, okay?

But I am in love with Ryan Miller and their relationship. Like, sometimes you want the book boyfriend all for yourself. And sometimes... sometimes you know you can never compare to their true love, would never fit him as well as she does, and that's okay. That's okay because you're a little bit in love with the both of them, and you love seeing the stars in their eyes when they look at each other and the way they move around and with each other as if they're the other's anchor and sun.

Still, let it be noted that Ryan Miller is at the top of my book boyfriend list, even years later. I fangirl over this guy, okay? it's this bad. Or this good. Depends on who you ask. He is the perfect blend of adorable sweetness, with a shot of cockiness and a dash of condescension. In the best possible ways, I assure you. This guy knows what--and who--he wants. He is not afraid to tell Jamie how she feels and he wills it to become reality just from the sheer, unwavering sureness he presents. And he never gives up. Never. You might as well admit defeat before he starts because this mountain is not budging!

And as you've probably guessed, I adored their romance. It's the kind of romance that makes you sigh, and you don't know if it's because it just fills you with satisfaction or because you want a relationship like that for yourself and goddammit why can't you have this one little thing??

Okay, got sidetracked. Anyways, Ryan and Jamie bring out the best in each other. And the chemistry between them is, shall we say, electrifying. Both figuratively and literally.

And yes, this book is not perfect. The reason Jamie got her superpowers is not quite satisfying. The villain is okay-ish and his plot is so-so. Neither of those things mattered a lick to me, since if you haven't figured yet, Ryan & Jamie gave me life and that's what I was here for, but I feel it's necessary to mention anyway.

So... this book was perfect. For me. 

Paper Hearts by Ali Novak | Book Review

Paper Hearts by Ali Novak

The Heartbreakers Chronicles #2
Date Read: Jan 4 to 5, 2018

First Published: 2014

Kindle

Young Adult, Contemporary
Rating:

Re-Readability:

"I'm sorry," he said, slowly untying the ribbon that held his mask in place. "It's just-I didn't want you to think of me any differently."
Somehow I kept my mouth from falling open. I knew his face, but my mind couldn't accept that he was the person looking down at me.
"My real name is Alec."
Felicity has her entire future planned. Ever since her older sister ran away, she's had the full weight of her mother's expectations on her shoulders. So she works hard to get straight As and save for college.
Except sometimes the best things in life are unplanned-like when Felicity meets a handsome, masked stranger while she is volunteering at a charity masquerade ball. She never thought he'd flirt with her. And she certainly never thought he'd turn out to be a member of the world-famous Heartbreakers band, Alec.
Then Felicity uncovers a shocking family secret. Suddenly, she, Alec, and her two best friends are off on a road trip to find Felicity's missing sister. And she's about to discover that unexpected turns have a peculiar way of landing her right where she needs to be...

The second installment in the Heartbreakers Chronicles follows a similar pattern to the first - it's a cute, fun, sweet, short read following a member of the popular boy band "The Heartbreakers", who falls in love with a girl who is "normal".

Which is, again, one of my favorite tropes.

It helps that our hero is my favorite member of said boy band; Alec. Let's just say, his reign as my favorite boy shall continue onward. I simply love his intuitive silence, imploring gazes and sweet, quiet nature. This boy doesn't have a mean, disloyal bone in his body, and you can always trust him to be the voice of reason and everyone's confidant. That's just... who he is.

Novak does a good job convincing you that he has met his match in Felicity. What I loved the most about her is that she felt like a real girl, and she even occasionally freaked out about the fact she was with Alec Williams. THE Alec Williams. It was adorable. She was adorable, and sweet, and well-meaning... even as her entire world (as she knew it) was falling apart. Actually, one of the things I wanted more of this book was the repercussions of that, especially with her mother, since it didn't really feel properly resolved.

But really, even though these books give you some darker themes, those are not what the novels are about. The novel is, quite frankly, about the romance that blooms between Alec and Felicity. And yes, that love blooms quite quickly. It was more noticeable in Paper Hearts since the setting is a week-long road trip, but at the same time the novel kind of makes you forget this small detail.

I think part of the reason this works better in Novak's books than in some others I've read is that the characters don't rush to define their relationship in big absolutes like "love". Instead, she lets the reader draw their own conclusion on the status of their feelings through their actions and words. Which works far better for me than being told.

I'm really curious to see which band member will get the next novel - Xander or JJ. I am far more interested in JJ's story (he's my second fave), but I also feel like, for the sake of the flow of these novels, he should be the last to find love, both considering his personality and his role in the group.

To Kill a Warlock by H.P. Mallory | Rant Review

To Kill a Warlock by H.P. Mallory

Dulcie O'Neil #1

First Published: 2010

Kindle

Adult, Urban Fantasy
Rating:

Re-Readability:

The murder of a dark arts warlock. A shape-shifting, ravenous creature on the loose. A devilishly handsome stranger sent to investigate. Sometimes working law enforcement for the Netherworld is a real bitch.
Dulcie O’Neil is a fairy. And not the type to frolic in gardens. She’s a Regulator—a law-enforcement agent who monitors the creatures of the Netherworld to keep them from wreaking havoc in the mortal world. When a warlock is murdered and Dulcie was the last person to see him alive, she must uncover the truth before she’s either deported back to the Netherworld, or she becomes the next victim.
Enter Knight Vander, a sinfully attractive investigator sent from the Netherworld to work the case with Dulcie. Between battling her attraction to her self-appointed partner, keeping a sadomasochistic demon in check, and fending off the advances of a sexy and powerful vampire, Dulcie’s got her hands full. As the body count increases, Dulcie finds herself battling dark magic, reconnoitering in S&M clubs and suffering the greatest of all betrayals.

You know those books that make you scratch your head at all the reviews and high ratings they have and wonder if you've read the same book? Perhaps someone trolled you and gave you a fake copy? Because there is no way all these people love this book if they read the same version you did? Yeah... this is one of those books.

When I got this book I was extremely excited - I had seen how highly rated Mallory's books came, and I was on an urban fantasy kind of kick so she was definitely on my authors-to-read list. And I was doubly excited to have the opportunity to read one of her books for free on kindle. I distinctively remember the squeal I let out, even now, five years later.

Unfortunately, all those fuzzy feelings died a quick death. May they rest in peace.

I simply couldn't stand the writing. I wish I could tell you what it was about it that gave me such a visceral reaction; the kind of response that makes you wince and grit your teeth and hope the torture would be over soon. Rare is the book that makes me feel this way, so in its own way, this read was very special to me.

Not to mention, this book had a lot of repetitions. That's a particular pet peeve of mine. And you know how sometimes when you're in a group and someone laughs at his own joke and everyone just stares at him because it wasn't all that funny and he says "get it? get it?". Well... that's how I felt about all the parts in this book that were obviously meant to make me laugh. They didn't.

Maybe if the characters were compelling the story would've been saved for me, but they simply weren't. I didn't like Dulcie's character at all. She is frankly quite the slut. I'm definitely okay with characters sleeping around when they're not in a relationship and women being secure in their sexuality, but I draw the line at leading several men on. At the same time. It just grates on my nerves. You can do all those things without hurting others in the process.

I mean, the book literally ends with several loose ends--and at least three guys--open and unanswered, with Dulcie having two upcoming dates (with two different guys) and receiving a cute present from a third. (On a completely unrelated note - Knight is an incredibly stupid name for a character, and should be reserved to comic books if at all...)

And the bad guy was so obvious I simply had to sigh when he was revealed. I kind of had some hope Mallory will pull the rug from under my feet or something and at least give me a good twist or two. But nope.

During the entire time I was reading this book, the question "why the heck am I reading this book?" kept popping into my mind, flashing in colorful, glaring lights, demanding some sort of answer from me. Since I had none, I didn't give it any. If it was Present Me who was reading this novel, I would have DNFed it at around 20% if I were nice, but Past Me was a little more particular about dropping books, so she used all the willpower she had to finish it as quickly as she could so she could move on to greener pastures...